So I’ve had a funny weekend. Not funny ha ha more funny squiggly head, I’ve been conscious for a while that the fact that my job is terrible is effecting the rest of my life adversely (I am sad when I am at home because of my job not because of being at home), but this weekend has just been depressing. I’m not back in work until Tuesday, but I made the fatal mistake of reading my work email before I got back and it appears that I am indispensable.

I could be cruel to myself and say that I’m just incompetent and that it all falls apart when I go on leave, because I am just about treading water, and to be honest given my current state of mind I could see myself talking me into that one, except !

Except, all of the things for which people are going to be desperate to be the bailer out in chief for, are nothing to do with me directly! Number one on my list when I get back may be to ask for a pay rise and hey lets see if I can get an office!

But all of this just leads me to hate my job more, and become more depressed. Ruth is getting quite worried for me now, and has started talking about me going part time for a while. Given that my motivation levels have dropped to me just about being bothered to make cups of tea. that may be the way forward. I would jack it all in tomorrow if I thought we could afford it. (Except for a whole host of other reasons – I have this underlining sense of responsibility to be the bread winner)

In summary my brain hurts!