This morning, I’m staying home. It speaks volumes for the State of Affairs in our house, that at 7.30am last Thursday, Kevin and I got out of bed, and ordered a new mattress on the internet. It is due to be delivered this morning.

Usually, Kevin does this stuff, partly because in the first year that we were married, he’d used up less of his leave than I had, and in the second year we were married, I was saving mine up to write my MA dissertation. However, new leave year, new start.

It is my secret belief that I will be better at this than he is. Don’t laugh – you and I both know that watching the TV until a bloke arrives with a mattress isn’t that difficult, but Kevin gets very agitated about waiting. He loathes queues of any kind, and would spend the entire morning pacing the floor in anticipation.

I, on the other hand, have Big Plans. I intend to Bless my house. What with the whole MA thing, and the trip to India, I pretty much lost control of the house over the last few months. However, today I shall hoover the hoovering places, mop the mopping places, empty the bins, dust everywhere (please, Santa, can I have a cool Flylady feather duster that everyone thinks is so great?), clean the mirrors (and TV screens, and monitors), and change a variety of linens, including putting clean sheets on my lovely new mattress.

And this one had better last longer than ten minutes before it starts skewering me on pointy bits of spring.