Motivated and Energetic

That’s what the job adverts always say. It’s one of Ruth old jokes, about how when she graduated everyone was looking for energetic and motivated people, while she felt she would fit in more if they wanted Apathetic, and lethargic people.

Motivation at work is something I’m struggling with at work at the moment, I have been for a while, at first I put this down to daisy; after all what does work really matter when you have a wife and a wonderful daughter to go home to every night, and when you’ve only had 6 hours broken sleep the night before? But as time has passed and my sleep patterns have returned to ‘normal’ I’m beginning to suspect it’s something else.

You see its all very good demanding motivation and energy from people, but I do think you have to provide something worth getting motivated for, you can’t expect motivation just because, (you pay loads of money, is a good reason you may think, but day to day most people can’t focus on that all the time).

“you have to provide something worth getting motivated for, you can’t expect motivation just because”

For me I think it’s that focus that’s missing, it just doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. As I might have mentioned before we appear to have no direction, and that makes it very hard to focus on a goal, as a result, the last few months have seen me bounce around doing what many people would consider quite worthwhile things, a bit bitty and small, but never-the-less things, while really not being able to get my teeth stuck into anything large.

This is where I’m at now; at the moment I have one job on my list, it’s a rewrite of a largish project that on the face of it is going to be interesting and challenging, and yes does provide a goal, but I think I’ve got programmers block, I can tackle little bits now and again, but I just can’t get motivated enough to get the big picture sorted, and it’s depressing. Ideally I want to write this thing right this time, with all the bells and whistles I know I can provide, making it nice, flexible and robust, but everytime I think about it, I spend a few hours tinkering, thinking options through, and then I go “oh why bother?”

You see no one will notice the fancy, all singing all dancing bits anyway, it’s only my self satisfaction (and time saving for me later on), that is putting them there, so from that point of view, the hacked together, string tied version (which is what we’ve managed with for over two years now) is just as good to other people, why bother?

We’ll I’ve been picking up crumbs for quite some time now, and it makes me sad when I don’t have something to get my teeth into, that’s why bother; but I’ve been out of the big project window for sometime, and office politics get me down so I’m finding it very hard to get back into it.

bit by bit, baby steps may be the answer, and a new pair of headphones to block out some of the more inane chatter around the office.