I’m almost (but not quite) at the point of thinking that the sooner this baby arrives, the better off we’ll all be. Obviously, if it came tomorrow, it would be prem by about five and a bit weeks, and I don’t want that if it’s avoidable. But three weeks from now would be perfect.
For one thing, my homebirth is looking rather more likely to come off if it’s early. I saw the obstetric consultant the other week, and whilst he finally resolved the issue of my due date to my satisfaction, he simultaneously threw a different spanner in the works when he said that Daisy’s shoulder got stuck, and that made me a high(er) risk for the next delivery.
My first reaction was confusion, closely followed by anger. It was the first I’d heard of it, but there it was, in my hospital notes, exactly as if it was true. Later, I asked Kevin if he had any recollection of such a thing, and he said no. So, if it happened, no one was talking about it at the time, and perhaps more reprehensibly, no one told us afterwards. I’ve spent seven months answering questions from health professionals about my first birth, believing I knew what happened, and with them, apparently, believing I did, too. There is a clear assumption that I would know, but this particular detail took two and half years to come to my attention. I felt exactly as if they’d made it up, and sprung it on me out of spite, which is, of course, ludicrous.
Anyway, the good Professor pulled a face when I said “home birth” and insisted that I talk to the community midwives ASAP about whether they’re still prepared to support it. He also arranged for me to go back nearer the time, for an assessment of whether this baby is looking particularly big. He initially suggested at 38-39 weeks, but then gave me an appointment on my due date – I strongly suspect, because he doesn’t do clinic himself every week, and wanted to be there. When I said, “hang on, what price my home birth in the fortnight before that?” he said that if the baby was early, it was unlikely to be a problem anyway – that Daisy was both big and late, and it was the combination of those factors that was most likely to have caused the problem.
My own feeling is that the ten hours flat on my back in bed, the syntocinon drip and the epidural were more likely to be the significant factors. I have, of course, done some research since then, and discovered that “difficulty delivering shoulders” is a long way short of real shoulder distocia in the vast bulk of cases, and that those three factors are all implicated in the statistical risk. Since one cannot get an epidural or a syntocinon drip at home, it seems to me that the home birth would have already gone wrong before most of the particular risks of Daisy’s case came into play, but what do I know?
Last week I saw the midwife, who needs to check with the team leader, but is of the belief that we can continue as planned until my due-date hospital appointment, and then see how things stand. She also added that she has more respect for my consultant than for most of them, and is inclined to take his concerns seriously, which is worth knowing, I suppose.
So, having delivered Daisy at 42 +2 weeks, I’m hoping against hope for this baby to come at 38 or so, so’s to be late enough for a home delivery, but as small as possible at the time. Early indications suggest that it is a little on the large side, but then, so am I. And it’s still a bit soon to tell.
The other reason why the sooner would be to the better, is that I keep finding wonderful baby-kit that I can’t afford, that would be so much better than what we had last time, and the sooner I’m too busy looking after a new baby to look, the lesser the temptation.
Which looks lovely, and cozy, and the perfect place for a little tiny thing to sleep. Plus it’s dead portable, so if you go away, s/he has the familiarity of the same bed wherever you go. And only three times the price of the perfectly serviceable crib we already have.
The thing is, I keep finding stuff like this. I can’t help it. And the only thing I can think of to call a halt to it, is actually giving birth.
So, not quite the sooner the better, but very nearly so…