I’ve always hated that.? In any given situation, I want to find a place to be where I’m not bothering anyone, so I can stay there.? You know when you’re hovering in someone else’s kitchen, chatting while they do stuff, but every place you stand turns out to be in front of the cupboard they’re about to need?? I loathe that.? I gave up the annual Carol Sing at Tesco’s with my church, because I was the only person who thought it was better to freeze outside, than get in people’s way inside.? Carollers are nice the Sunday before Christmas, but getting in, shopped, and out is better, in most people’s estimation.
The problem I have at the moment, is that I feel like I’m in everyone’s way.? The whole world, every single blinking person I know, have ever known, is waiting for me to produce a baby, and I appear to be incapable.? They’re all waiting for me, and I feel under a huge amount of pressure, which is ridiculous, because there’s not a blessed thing I can do about it.? Believe me, if it were my own choice, it would have been here three weeks ago.
Today, for variety, I’ve had tummy ache.? Well, lower abdominal tummy ache.? I think I got a touch constipated, yesterday, and this morning I woke up with my lower intestines complaining bitterly.? It’s possible that lower abdominal pain that is quite clearly something else is almost as frustrating as lower abdominal pain that feels like labour but turns out not to be.? If I’m going to have pain, I’d like it to have some kind of purpose, thanks very much.