My precious little girl, I love you so much. I wish I could manage to always be as nice to you as I was this evening. When Daddy was feeling tired and grumpy, and “I can’t believe she’s up again!” I somehow managed to sit with you in your room, and talk about the things that were making you too interested and excited to sleep. I do know, deep down, that you find it impossible to settle when your head is full of things that you simply MUST tell me. I understand, because it happens to me too, that being told to tell me later, then forgetting the frightfully important thing you had to say, is frustrating in the extreme. I’m sorry, beautiful girl, that I can’t always be the sweet, gentle, supportive, listening mother that you deserve. On days like today, when I feel like I actually pulled it off, it almost makes me sadder than when I don’t. It’s a glimpse of how it could be; of how much my attention delights your precious little heart, and of how you no longer need to behave in that wild, uncontrolled, infuriating way.
I’m sorry I’m not better at this, sweet-heart. I will keep trying to do better. I love you very, very much.